Have you ever wanted to relive those childhood days? The days of not wanting to go take a nap, throwing a temper tantrum and destroying the house? No? Too bad, because Temper Tantrum is here to do that!
I found Temper Tantrum due to it being on sale for $0.24 when it released on Steam. The regular price is $0.99. Yes, it was on a 76% off sale at launch. That’s already a great sign for what is sure to be a quality game, yes? Oh but is there ever “quality” in this game. Let’s begin.
In Temper Tantrum, you really do play as a toddler who just doesn’t want to go take a nap. He, of course, throws a temper tantrum and proceeds to destroy all the objects in the house. The game is supposed to play in an arcade-style setup, however I recall most arcade games playing a lot better than this.
To start off, little Johnny (the boy throwing the tantrum) is running around in only his diaper. The “enemies” are floating blobs that, should they touch you, will send you to nap time and use a life. The entire world is extremely colourful. I mean extremely colourful. So colourful your eyes may start to hurt after a while. No worries, it can’t get worse, right?
Oh but what extremely colourful world isn’t complete without an absolutely awful camera! Not just an absolutely awful camera, but ice physics! Wait, I thought we were destroying a HOUSE? Why is there ice physics? I don’t know. Little Johnny controls as if he’s trying to wear roller blades on ice, unable to make any sort of sharp turn and zooming every which way. There are a grand total of 0 camera controls. With the rollerblades-on-ice controls and colourful backgrounds, you’re very likely to actually start feeling physically ill. I know I did.
So clearly there must be multiple levels to this little gem, right? Oh there are. A grand total of 3 looping levels. You’ll infinitely loop through these 3 levels until you run out of lives. Lives that refresh on every level. The floating blobs of naptime eventually start to become overwhelming however, and with how bad the controls are you’ll likely go zooming into them.
How does one deal with these floating blobs of naptime, you ask? Well, you see, you need to pick up sweet treats that come out of the destroyed objects. Good luck picking them up though, as the hitboxes on them are atrocious. Should you manage to pick one up, little Johnny will have candy icons appear around him and the blobs will have a green outline. You can destroy them this way, but they’ll come back after a short time. They also like to go through walls by the way, so good luck avoiding them on lower levels!
Now what absolutely fantastic game like this wouldn’t be complete without a glitch, right? I’m not sure if it was intentional but it feels like it wasn’t. In the first house, you can clip out of the window and into the backyard. There was some boundaries out here, but with no objects and a pool you can walk right over I really do feel like it wasn’t intentional to get out here. Granted, the only way to get out is to jump up to the window. Hey, at least jump has a use besides just being needed to break one whole object in all three houses.
With atrocious controls, a nauseating camera, extremely questionable hitboxes, and blobs of naptime, what isn’t there to hate about Temper Tantrum? If you value your eyes, stomach, sanity, or just any combination of them all, just avoid this game. It’s not worth the pain, even for trading cards. Really, just avoid it.
Temper Tantrum Review
.5/5
This game has absolutely no saving qualities to it but this is the lowest score we actually give.
