The Graveyard Review

Have you ever wonder what it’s like to walk into a graveyard as an old lady? Well, wait no more! The Graveyard is here to tell you.

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I think in terms of “artistic” games I’ve played, The Graveyard is probably takes the award for the worst. The whole purpose of the game is to walk into the graveyard, sit on a bench, and then leave. Though of course, should you stay on the bench too long you’ll die as a pretty messed up song about those in the graves plays. “That one was stillborn, be sure not to step on them!”

There’s a “help” menu in the game that “supposedly” gives you the controls… No, it gives you a FULL WALKTHROUGH OF THE GAME. Well, okay, it doesn’t mention the dying part. And from what I’ve read, the whole “dying” part is only in this paid version of the game. Lovely.

0000007623.1920x1080Should your character die (in other words, you listen to the song for some small amount of time), you can’t do anything. The only way to quit the game is to force exit it, which also conveniently partially crashed the game for me… huh. Well then.

The graphics are pretty lackluster. The main work was obviously put into the character model. Just don’t look at those 2D trees that are trying to be 3D. Oh wait, too late, already did.

The controls are also pretty lackluster. Well, it’s your typical WASD/Arrow key deal. Turning is painfully slow. Just MOVING is painfully slow. You can’t interact with anything. When you’ve turned around to face away from the bench, she’ll just eventually sit down on her own.

The fact this isn’t just a free game on Steam feels like an absolute joke. I guess there is a free version, since as I said I saw mentions that the “dying” is only in the paid version. Still, the fact money is being charged for this feels like a joke, let alone for it to cost $5. Just don’t get it. If you’re really curious, there’s a demo. I’m sure even that’s the full game and you won’t feel like you’ve wasted some money.

The Graveyard Review Score

.5/5

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